Where to begin?

I hate introductions. Ever done those ‘ice breaker’ introductions where you say your name and the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you, or an interesting fact about yourself? My worst nightmare. Because I’m really rather ordinary you see. I’m not super talented at something extraordinary; I’m just mediocre at a lot of things. The truth is I’m not very good at interacting with other people and saying what’s on my mind. I would simply rather write these things down. Be it scribbles in a notebook or typing articles on a laptop, I’m most at home surrounded by words. Although I’m passionate about a number of things (vintage lifestyle, cosmetics and body modification, to name a few), I would still rather create physical words that I can see in front of me than engage in a phonic conversation. I suppose that’s why I did English at university – words just seem to fascinate me. I remember studying various genres of literature in rooms full of people who could spew countless interpretations of text that were so heartfelt, I felt completely out of my depth, but when it came to subjects such as Old English (which everyone loathed) I was in my absolute element. Studying the very beginnings of the language we take for granted today really intrigued me and fired up my passion for lexis.

This proves my point. Here I am warbling on about words themselves when I should be introducing who I am! I’m not very good about speaking about myself because truthfully I don’t think there’s actually that much to say. I’m an average twenty-something year old woman (?) going about her day-to-day life. I work for Benefit Cosmetics as an Account Manager, which exploded my interest is make up (much to my husband’s disgust) so I spend 36 and a half hours of my life every week making other people feel good about themselves. When I get those customers who are really so amazed at what make up can do and who are really so grateful for what I’ve taught them, the feeling is indescribable. When I can see the legitimate self-confidence that I’ve just created in them, it truly makes my job worthwhile. At risk of sounding rather cliche, I’ve spent so much of my life hating what I look like and worrying about what people think of me. I can so easily sympathise with those women who come to my counter wanting to feel good about themselves. I think that’s the best part of my job: changing people’s perceptions of themselves. Because I know what it’s like to look in the mirror and feel nothing but disgust; I know what it’s like to look in the mirror and cry and cry until there’s no tears left because you’re just so ashamed of what you are. If I can make one less person feel that way, I’ll be happy. No one should feel like that.

Kind of relating to this is my love of body modification. I have more metal in me than a scaffolding and countless pieces of artwork. With each new piece I add to my collection, I love myself just that little bit more. It’s not to everybody’s taste and I respect that, but it amazes me that in the year 2017, where a huge proportion of people have some kind of piercing or tattoo, that there are still such bigoted people out there and still so much discrimination. For example, in my job as a manager of a make up counter, I have to remove all visible piercings and hide all visible tattoos because we are a “premium” brand. So my body modifications make me inferior? That’s a whole can of worms that I’ll probably open at some point in the future. Body modification is definitely something I’m passionate about – I love informing people about proper aftercare, jewellery choices, even origins.

Did I mention that I’m a full time pin up girl? Vintage style is what my world revolves around. I remember watching Grease for the first time with my mum when I was around nine years old. I was hooked from that moment. The gorgeous floaty dresses and cute hair styles. It’s more than that for me now. It’s the clothes, the cars, the decor, the music, the whole culture. A time when you went dancing and got milkshakes before being walked home after a first date. My favourite vintage reproduction brands are Lindy Bop and Collectif. I’ll probably to a wardrobe related post at some point, as well as monthly hauls and reviews. I’m a part time poser too. I’d never class myself as a model. Not even close. But I do do ‘photo shoots’. It all started when I was contacted by the wonderful John from Portraits and Pin Ups who asked if I ever wanted to do a shoot. I said I did but one thing and another happened and it was months before it actually happened. I was so nervous on the day but it was so much fun and again it helped me a little with how I see myself. My husband even has a canvas of one of my photos (I know he’s biased, but still!). I have got another shoot with John in a couple of weeks, so there will be a follow up of that. If you want to see my portfolio it’s purpleport.com/pollyannapinup

 

There’s not really a lot more to say about me. Just a twenty-something year old lady going through life, struggling with mental health, but doing it all with her wonderful husband, puppy and house bunnies by her side.

 

Over and Out

Pollyanna xo

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